Gopher's Blog

GOPHER'S BLOG
Tried to sleep in this morning. I closed down Jack London's, the
tavern in Carmel where all the Pebble Beach caddies hang out all week,
and, frankly, I partied a little too hard. So, needless to say, I was
more than a little bit annoyed when all of those people showed up so
darned early, tromping right over my gopher hole, chattering about the
3M Celebrity Challenge, the big charity event.
Poked my head out and saw George Lopez, Samuel L. Jackson, Carson
Daly, Michael Bolton, and, of course, that notorious gopher-hater, Bill
Murray, a man who, quite frankly, should be behind bars.

BOOMER BUST ... New this year was Chris Berman, the ESPN
broadcaster. They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but Berman is ... well,
bigger than life.
"Chris is here courtesy of Weight Watchers," said Bob Murphy, the
smart-aleck emcee. "For all of you folks who watch ESPN: Do you
recognize this guy? I can't believe how good they make him look!"
Berman's nickname is "Boomer," which fits his golf game. He hits it
pretty far, when he hits it.

ASK YOUR KIDS ... Most of the oldsters in the crowd, they weren't
quite sure who the heck Carson Daly is. "You've gotta stay up late,"
Murphy informed them.
By the way, the language gets racier after prime time, and Daly
dropped the S-bomb after topping his first drive of the day.

DUELING DISSES ... George Lopez, the comedian ... he's got a bit of
an identity problem, too.
When Hunter Finnell, the local sportscaster, mentioned his name to
Bill Murray, Murray's deadpan response was, "Who's George Lopez."
When Finnell told him that George Lopez was a comedian with a television
show, Murray asked, "What's the name of the show?" When Finnell said,
"The George Lopez Show," Murray said, "Well, that gives
me a 50-50 chance of remembering."
When Finnell relayed the text of that exchange to Lopez, the comic
said, "I thought he should have been nominated (for an Oscar) for
Ghostbusters ... then I pretty much lost track of him."

QUEUE THE BAND ... Lopez showed up wearing the bottom half of a
mariachi outfit -- not exactly traditional attire for a golf tournament.
"These pants are so tight, I can only wear them for five holes," he
explained.

PRESSURE PUTT ... Chris O'Donnell suddenly backed away from a $5,000
putt on the 17th green, waved an arm at the large gallery and said,
"Would all of you people please turn around and stop
looking at me? You're making me extremely nervous!" Then, he drained the
putt.

CROWD CONTROL ... O'Donnell's playing partner Wednesday in the
best-ball format was Murray, who made sure he got his due. "C'mon, it's
The Boy Wonder, dammit," Murray shouted. "Let's hear it for
him!"

CROWD CONTROL II ... Murray, too, seemed to have his own press
agent. "All you people up there in the seats: It's been a couple of
years since Bill Murray has played here," shouted Murphy, the emcee.
"And he has, in all humility, requested that you give him a standing
ovation." The crowd obliged.

HUEY AND THE NEWS ... The shot of the day came compliments of Huey
Lewis, the rock star, who whacked a wedge shot directly into the hole --
no bounce -- for a birdie on No. 3.
Honorable mention went to Murray, who won a chip-off, worth $15,000,
on No. 18, by rolling his shot within 22 inches of the cup. Despite the
fact that several other players still had a chance to beat him,
Murray triumphantly strutted off, waving at the crowd and pointing
toward the leaderboard as he went. He won the contest, but wasn't around
to collect the check, which he plans to donate to the Salinas
libraries.

posted by Herald Gopher at 11:14 AM

A Wednesday morning to forget

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